hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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