Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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