# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
