I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize