too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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