I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
