honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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