Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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