She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
