I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize