Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
