I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
