I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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