hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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