I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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