Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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