Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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