I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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