i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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