I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
