Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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