He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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