he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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