is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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