New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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