Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize