is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize