I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
