and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
