He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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