at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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