He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
