he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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