it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
