I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
