The brown eye won't let me do that either.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
