She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so that wasnt chicken after all
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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