Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
