he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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