I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
