So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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