I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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