how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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