What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
