What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
