there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
