Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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