he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
