D3 body, D1 cock
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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