Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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