i dont even know how to be here
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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