Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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