Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
