What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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