my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You may now shotgun with the bride
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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