we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
