if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
