I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
