i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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